A PIECE OF MYSELF

It was my first time to meet the long lost sibling of my grandmother when I came to the US. I heard many bad things about her just before I met her. Strict, hard to handle,anti-Filipino are just some of the not so good things I hear from my relatives about her until I finally met her one day. She seemed to be very calm, understanding, harmless the first time I laid my eyes on her. Little did I know that the saying "First impression lasts" is the total antipode of it. When she moved from Texas to our place in Miami, All the good things I thought was in her turned into a nightmare. I began to understand the truth behind "you can never truly know a person unless you live with them". The angel, I once saw in her transformed into something else. She seem to hate the country where she is born, " the Philippines", She refuses to talk using our dialect because She said she had lived here in America for more than 20 years and that she forgot her native tong...

Did you ever had that feeling wherein you wake up in the morning and suddenly felt that emptiness without any reason at all? And then you began to pause and think about your life and at what point are you in? Where are you headed? What are your goals? That is what I feel at the moment. The feeling of emptiness cannot be explained by logic but you just feel it. It seemed like you are trapped on a very dark cave, alone and without a light. Unloved, alone and without someone to talk to. I do not know if this is homesickness, missing my family, missing company, or that maybe, it is because of the gloomy weather. For whatever unknown reason it is, it caught me. Maybe, just maybe.. I miss home. I miss being loved by my family and those warm hugs and kisses I get from them, an inevitable dilemma that I should endure.

I came from the Philippines. Just the summer of last year, I flew to Denmark for work opportunities. I transferred in the US thereafter for a better work offer. I don't know if this is normal or not but I seem to miss my country every now and then. The simplicity of life in my hometown is irreplaceable. However, staying and going back to the Philippines would not be an option for me right now because it would never feel the same. For the reason that, living abroad is one of the most satisfying and challenging things a person can do. It altered the core of who I thought I was and who I am now. Living abroad changed me. It changed me to a person I once were. Living outside my comfort zone is the most profound undertaking I had ever done yet the most rewarding. The scenery changes, people change, the food menu is different and the climate is unpredictable. Everything and Everyone I once knew were gone. I grew, evolved and moved on. I faced setbacks and dealt with them on my own a...

I am kind of disappointed today. I am currently in a relationship with another race and one of my family members don't like my affair with him. I hate the idea that people are judged because of their ancestry.  I always believe all people are made equal regardless of where they come from, their color or their creed. There might be bad things that people from that race did but it does not mean all individuals who are part of that nationality are the same way. A part of something doesn't justify the whole.  People are in varieties.  We are all unique individuals. I always believe that knowing a person personally is the only way you can tell what the person is. First hand experience is better than hearsay. I hate close minded people and I pity them because their minds are so close that they might miss the big picture.

I am no poet,nor a writer of a scene, But when I am with you, I can write a whole book,  You make me feel extreme Your smile makes me shiver, Your gaze makes me still The jokes that you say, Won't let my grin go away Every time you say good morning, It brightens up my day Along with that virtual kiss, The part of my day, I hate to miss Knowing that we are miles apart, A lot of hurdles may do us part But I know that we could make it through As long as I am with you Finding you is like a dream, Feeling that "instant click"  Isn't as difficult as I thought It may seem Although I am too shy, Let me tell you this without a lie You will always be special in my eyes You will always be my BENG  Disclaimer: If you read this, I hope you are #kilig.. ayyeee.. :)

Approximately 3 months from now, I would soon be a year older. Middle adulthood would soon be welcoming me with open arms. I had barely noticed that my age would shortly fall off the calendar anytime soon until I observe these red lights which made me realized "Ohh! I am getting old.. WAIT!" hahaha :) I know that I am not getting any younger and I have to put myself in perspective but I never thought that old age is very very excited to see me.. hahaha  :)  Here are some signs that might help you realize that you are not getting any younger. 1. Bar nights turned to coffee dates or movie marathons Gone are the days when you want to party all night and drink til you drop sessions. You seem to be contented with coffee dates and movie marathons because you realize that drinking leads to hangovers which won't do you any good. 2. Your Facebook news feed is flooded with babies or married friends Everyday, I check out my Facebook feed to see what my family and fri...

I love staring at the sky. The soothing effect of the unreachable clouds never seize to amaze me. I have a lot of goals and aspirations wherein at the moment, resembles like the clouds.  I cannot feel them with my bare hands but that won't stop me from believing that someday, I would grasp it whole. A couple of years back, being a nurse abroad was an unreachable dream for me. However, that  never stopped me from hoping and from keeping my eyes off of that dream of mine even though a handful of obstacles came my way. With that being said, I am hopeful I can reach my aspirations in the not so distant future. I know it might not be as easy as eating pizza but I am positive I can reach it. I always think that it is only a matter of how badly you want it. Moreover, the mere sight of the sky makes me remember my family. I am fully aware that they are on the other side of the world, and although they are so far away, I am still happy that we are looking at the same sky.  S...