A PIECE OF MYSELF

It was my first time to meet the long lost sibling of my grandmother when I came to the US. I heard many bad things about her just before I met her. Strict, hard to handle,anti-Filipino are just some of the not so good things I hear from my relatives about her until I finally met her one day. She seemed to be very calm, understanding, harmless the first time I laid my eyes on her. Little did I know that the saying "First impression lasts" is the total antipode of it. When she moved from Texas to our place in Miami, All the good things I thought was in her turned into a nightmare. I began to understand the truth behind "you can never truly know a person unless you live with them". The angel, I once saw in her transformed into something else. She seem to hate the country where she is born, " the Philippines", She refuses to talk using our dialect because She said she had lived here in America for more than 20 years and that she forgot her native tong...

Did you ever had that feeling wherein you wake up in the morning and suddenly felt that emptiness without any reason at all? And then you began to pause and think about your life and at what point are you in? Where are you headed? What are your goals? That is what I feel at the moment. The feeling of emptiness cannot be explained by logic but you just feel it. It seemed like you are trapped on a very dark cave, alone and without a light. Unloved, alone and without someone to talk to. I do not know if this is homesickness, missing my family, missing company, or that maybe, it is because of the gloomy weather. For whatever unknown reason it is, it caught me. Maybe, just maybe.. I miss home. I miss being loved by my family and those warm hugs and kisses I get from them, an inevitable dilemma that I should endure.